Moving in With a Boyfriend – Is It the Right Decision?
Moving in with a boyfriend – yay or nay? We can help you decide. There are many factors that you should take into consideration before deciding that you want to live with somebody. Stay with us and see if you are entirely sure about the choice you’re about to make.
It’s not important who suggested it, you or him. What is important is that you don’t have the smallest doubt about it or your relationship might end up compromised. Here are some things you should keep in mind before you pack your stuff and relocate.
Don’t Make the Hasty Decision About Moving in With Your Boyfriend
It might sound dreamy – the two of you in a place of your own with no one to bother or to share space with except for each other – no roommate or parents and siblings. But don’t rush it. Think thoroughly and be sure about what you decide. You might already spend much time together, and it might not feel like a significant change, but it is. Your everyday life will be much different – believe it or not.
Be One Hundred Percent Sure That You Want It
Before you unpack ask yourself if are you okay with seeing the same person every day you come home? Are you okay to see his every small habit? Are you sure that you know every part of his personality and behavior and that nothing negative can surprise you? We don’t want to sound pessimistic, but living with someone automatically means that you’ll get to know that person better – much better than you think you do now, and it might not be a good thing. To avoid unpleasant surprises, talk to each other, and be sure that you’re on the same page.
Answer Each Other’s Questions
Both of you should be completely honest in order to make your relationship last, especially in this kind of moment. Ask one another how you feel about certain things and try to find out if you are completely good with everything that awaits you. Questions like “What do you need every day?” or “What kind of mornings/afternoons/nights you prefer?” can help you to get a better idea of how your life is going to look like. Your partner might love loud music as soon as he wakes up, and you might be the type that likes peace. He might like to read before bedtime, and you love to invite friends over late in the evening. Those kinds of things could upset the balance. Make sure that you don’t ignore your relationship problems.
Overcoming Taboos Is a Big Step
Try not to have any taboo topics. We know it sounds worn out, but communication really is the key and the solution for everything. If something bothers you, share it and try to fix it before it grows into something bigger. Small issues are easier to solve, so think that way. One of the most important topics that shouldn’t be kept a secret is financial stuff such as debts and credit loans. You and your boyfriend should know everything before you start to cohabitate. However difficult it may be to say something out loud, gather the strength, and say it. He will appreciate the honesty and your will to make your relationship work.
There’s Going to Be Less Privacy
Once you move in, me-time will be rare for both of you, especially if you move into a smaller home. It all depends on what kind of person you are. If you’re both into cuddling and enjoying each other’s company all the time, then moving for a relationship is the perfect solution. But if you love spending time alone, having someone constantly around can bother you. Of course, you can always agree on how to function without bugging one another. If you have two separate rooms, you can agree on when the time when you want to be alone will be, or you can just go outside and be with your thoughts.
Your Mess Is Not Just Your Own
Don’t forget that sharing the apartment also means sharing the chores and the dirt. Leaving dirty dishes or laundry is not an option anymore. If you’re dating someone who likes to have everything neat and tidy, respect his way of living and try to cooperate if you’re not alike. If both of you like the same mess or the same cleanliness of the apartment, you just won the jackpot. Differences could result in frequent and unnecessary arguments. It would be best to share and talk that trough as well and reassure that you’re on the same terms. If you’re the messy one, try to change your habits, and the cohabitation will be much easier.
Make Sure You Have Enough Money to Live Independently
Living with your loved one also means sharing the costs. Create a joint budget, agree on how much each of you will contribute and stick to that plan. Try to be as equal as possible, and you won’t become one of those couples who argue over money. Both of you should calculate your expenses and compare them to your paychecks. The costs you should include are:
- Utility bills
- Insurance costs
- Bank loans
- Transportation costs
- Goods and services costs.
The aftermath should show that you have enough for that and then some. You should also have some money to buy new stuff and going out. Get the calculator and put everything on paper. Things like relocating into another apartment can be pricey, but if you split costs equally, there should be no problems to reduce costs when moving. If your calculation doesn’t look good, choose one of the cheapest times of the year to move or figure out the cheapest way to move out of state for both of you before you start learning how to check whether your neighborhood is safe and then house-hunting.
You’ll Have to Learn How to Discuss Financial Matters
Talking about money isn’t easy – especially because you’re not married and you don’t have a formal obligation to tell somebody how you will spend the money you earn. But the thing is – you’ll sometimes have to. You’re paying for everything together, buying groceries every day, cooking for each other, and shopping for the place you both live in, so you’ll kind of need to tell your partner what you spent your money on.
Don’t Move in for Money
There are many reasons why you should move in with someone, but money shouldn’t be one of them. Be sure that you’re not making a decision as big as this just because you want to save money. It can easily lead to a breakup or a constant toxic relationship. If one of you makes more money and wants to help another one by letting them move in, most times that’s not a good idea. However, if money is just one of many factors impacting this decision, and you have other good reasons to move in, it’s a different story.
Choose a Place You Both Like and Can Afford
When changing the address make sure that your new apartment is to everyone’s taste and close to the places you work. When figuring out where you should move, try to find the golden middle so that everyone’s happy and you don’t end up getting moving stress. Is relocating to the suburbs an option you both agree on? Compromises are a big deal, but sometimes they can lead to disagreements. Do not go over the things that are essential to you. If you’re relocating to his place or he is coming to yours, try to agree on what changes should be made so that everyone is satisfied.
You’ll Always Have Someone to Talk To
One more perk of living as a couple is that the love of your life and your best friend is constantly with you. No matter how hard your day was, you’ll get home to someone who will listen, comfort you, and of course, cheer you up. If you’re thinking about living together, you must love that person very much, and having that kind of energy every day is therapeutic. You’ll always have someone to have fun with, watch movies, dance, and go out with. Even the most annoying things like chores can be fun if you do it together. Loneliness won’t be an option ever again, only love and support.
Be There for Your Partner
Don’t forget that your partner also has his needs and that you need to be there for him at all times, as he should be for you. Selfishness is never a good thing. If you expect someone to listen and care, you should do that as well, without being asked to. That kind of love always lasts and changes you to become a better person. You’ll become more tolerant, and you’ll grow in every way.
You’ll Also Fight, and It Can Get Nasty
Sometimes, both of you will have had a bad day and you need someone to calm you down, but you’re both upset. You’ll need to learn how to work out those situations without starting an argument. It won’t be as it used to be, and you won’t be able to just put down your phone until you calm down and then call your partner. You’ll be in the same room, looking at each other and not feeling well. Find the solution that works the best and use it when you come to a situation like this. Fights aren’t uncommon, and they’re not the end of the world. All of us have our weak spots and rough days – it’s up to you two how you will handle it.
Don’t Let the Small Things Get in the Way
Fights in long-term relationships usually occur because you spend more and more time together. That way, you see all the flaws that someone has, and even the trivial little ones can bug you. Don’t let that happen to you. Before you start nagging him about something, ask yourself how he would react if you did the same thing, and is it just your bad mood, maybe? Someone once said that the things that made us fall in love with someone are the same ones that get on our nerves later. Is that the situation? Did you already know about that habit, but you just ignored it? Nobody’s perfect, not even you, so don’t expect your boyfriend to be. Once you move in together, your life is supposed to get better, not worse. If you feel that you’re going to be annoyed by his behavior, don’t move in.
If You’re Good With All of This – Do It!
You’ve read all of this, and you think that you’re ready? If you are not feeling relocation anxiety at all, or any signs of relocation depression, go for it! The best time of the year to move is whenever you’re ready. We know that moving alone to another state or city for love is not easy. Try to find a job before moving to another state, find the right relocation company to help you avoid common moving mistakes, plan your moving budget, donate unwanted items, figure out how to reduce relocation expenses, get moving and packing services, and start living with your loved one. Learn some packing tips and tricks especially when it comes to boxing up clothes and furniture, to impress him. If you want to transport your car across the country, make sure you know how car shipping works and get auto transport services. One of our final moving tips would be to choose a reputable and recommended company with good reviews on Yelp and Facebook that offers you a guaranteed price. Apart from providing packing materials for moving, they should be licensed and insured, as well.
Deciding that you’ll move in and live as a couple should also require that you make a deal about what you will do if it doesn’t go as planned. This will be a huge test for you two, and you should know what to do if you see that it’s not working.
Do You Feel That You’re Rushing It?
If you’re not so sure right now, wait a bit longer. There’s no pressure, and nothing will fall apart if you don’t move in ASAP. Your loved one will understand if you need more time to think and to prepare yourself for this kind of change, as it’s not a small one. If you catch yourself feeling uncomfortable when thinking or talking about living together, then simply don’t do it. You don’t have to find excuses or to justify yourself to anyone. However it may be in the end, we wish you both the best of luck!