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How to Tell Your Parents You’re Moving Out of State

If you’re planning an interstate moving for the first time, you may have been wondering how to tell your parents you’re moving out of state, how to say that you are relocating far from them? Depending on the kind of relationship you have with your parents, as well as the sort of people they are in general, this conversation could potentially feel very difficult. There is no easy way to say something like that. That’s why we’ve decided to put together some tips to help you tell the news to your family.

Leave the Old Home and City Behind  
Relocating out of state is a life-changing decision.

Decide How to Tell Your Parents You’re Moving Out of State

When you find the answer to the question “Where should I move“, it is time to share the news with people you care about. The truth is, you know your family better than anyone else. This means that you will probably know the best way and time to tell your parents that you are relocating. For example, if you feel like they are a tad overprotective and you think they will give you a hard time, you might want to try and drop small hints that you want to leave town and see what the reaction will be like. You have to let your mom and dad process the idea itself. On the other hand, if you’ve been talking about moving away for some time now and they never expressed any concerns, or they didn’t say anything to discourage you this conversation should go pretty smoothly.

Don’t Break the News Suddenly – Plan for a Pleasant Gettogether

Whether you think your parents will be supportive of your decision or not, you shouldn’t tell the news that you want to leave out of the blue, and especially not in a public place. It takes some time and preparation on how and when to say it if you want to do it right. Your move represents a huge life change for your mom and dad as well, regardless of how they feel about it. There really isn’t an easy way for telling your mom and dad about it. So be considerate, just sit your parents down, organize a private setting, and take the time to try and tell them in detail about your plans for your life and the reasons behind them. You would want to let them come and see things from your perspective.

break the news gently
Carefully plan how to break the news to your family and don't do it last minute.

Allow a Conversation

Don’t expect this conversation to be one-sided, be ready for cross-examination. Telling your mom and dad that you are relocating is a huge deal. Don’t think that they’re not just going to listen to what you have to tell them, give you an approving nod, and move on with their lives. They will likely want to find out more, like why you want to leave, did you size up the plans for your future well, as well as express their feelings. So be prepared to hear some feedback from your parents because they will want you to answer their concerns.

Be Ready to Hear Your Parents’ Questions

We can almost guarantee that your family will have additional questions, no matter how detailed you are in your explanation and your plan, no one is ever really ready for this. They will want to know pretty much everything. Why are you moving out? Are you moving in together with significant other? When is the relocation date? Did you find the cheapest way to move out of state? Why didn’t you tell them sooner?  Do you know how car shipping works and how are you going to transport your car? Do you know how to transport your car across the country cost-effectively? Did you find a good apartment yet? Are you relocating to the suburbs or moving into a smaller home to reduce the costs of moving? Do you plan on sharing an apartment or a house with roommates? If so, who will be your roommate? How did you meet them, how old are they, what is their background and occupation? Is the neighborhood where your house or an apartment located a safe one? Have you found a job? If so, what kind of job is it, is it a good one? Will the money you make on your job really be enough to support you? If not, how do you plan to find one? Do you even know how to cope with stress when moving? The list of potential questions is endless, so be prepared to tell the answers to them all and point out the advantages of moving alone. Telling your mom and dad straight answers is the best policy, but make sure that you chose to live in a place where the general safety of the neighborhood is high. That might calm them down.

Your Parents Might Try to Convince You to Stay

If they are very opposed to your decision to move out, they might want to go as far as trying to convince you to stay. If this happens, listen to what they have to say, but be ready and know how to hold your ground.

Of course, you should be absolutely certain that you’ve made the right decision in the first place. If they get too pushy, telling you all the good reasons why you really shouldn’t do it, simply reiterate reasons why you should move and don’t allow for any more arguing. Make it clear that they’re just wasting their time and energy. In the end, you are old enough to decide on what your goal is, the best time of the year to move out is whenever you’re ready.

Remember, You’re an Adult

In your parents’ eyes, you’ll always be their kid no matter how old you are. But don’t forget that legally, you’re really an adult and are competent and authorized to make your own decisions and telling them what you decided is the first step. That is, unless you’re underage and not old enough to be independent, they can’t do much to prevent you from leaving if that’s what you want to do.

So don’t be afraid, even if you do get anxiety about moving out or don’t manage to find a job before moving to another state. Just know how and when to stand your ground even if things get a little heated. You’ve done your part in telling them about your plans to leave. It is their job to come to accept them. Getting them to accept your choices is a crucial step in the life of every adult.

Feel free to explain them what's been bothering you and why are you leaving.

Acknowledge Their Feelings and Ask Them

Even if your family’s reaction turns out not to be what you were hoping for, try to understand where they’re coming from. They just want what they believe is best for you. Besides, they’ve just learned about your plans to leave and haven’t had the time to process their feelings yet. Give them a day or two and see if their opinions change. Odds are, once they’ve had the time to think and talk about it all with each other, they’ll come to be much more supportive of your decision to leave. They’ll probably need some space to grasp the fact that their kid is old enough to move away.

You Should Let Them Know That This Won’t Jeopardize Your Relationship

One of the main reasons why every parent fears the day their child moves out is the fact that this even will inevitably change the relationship between you. You need to make sure they understand that your moving to a big city won’t jeopardize anything. Of course, don’t let these just be empty promises once you leave and settle down. Do your best to stay in touch as much as you can, it will also help you avoid relocation depression. Here are some tips on how to do that:

  • Call home daily. It might take some getting accustomed to, but just calling home every day will do wonders for your relationship. You don’t have to stay on the phone for hours and tell your mom and dad every little detail of your daily life, but make it a point to check up on them, see how they’re doing, how they feel and share any news you might have. You should let this become your regular routine for and both you and them will feel a lot better about the whole thing.
  • Send pictures. Since they won’t physically be there to see your new apartment or a house, or the furniture you got for your home, send them some pics. In fact, they could even help you choose the color of your new sofa or your outfit for the move-in party. Getting to know your daily routines will make them feel a lot more connected to you, even when you are far away. You’ll come to appreciate their involvement and support.
  • Have them over. As soon as you’ve settled down, invite them over for a visit. That is, of course, if you have enough room in the apartment or the house and if your roommates are okay with it. You’ll have to respect their privacy, too. They will surely like to see what your new home is like. Take them out and show them around. Even the little things such as the grocery store you go to or the local movie theater could interest them, as it will make them feel like they’re still a part of your world.
  • Visit home. Of course, going back home for a visit and even just for a home-cooked meal as often as you can is the best thing you can do to maintain healthy relations with your family. Your childhood house is the one place where you can always count on the support and warmth you had growing up. 
Assure Them This Won’t Jeopardize Your Relationship
Your relocation will not break that special bond you have with your parents.

Tips That Will Help You Organize Moving

Now that you know the right way to inform your parents about your decision to move out, hiring recommended and reliable professional movers will save you from dealing with all the technical aspects of long-distance moving such as packing your belongings and finding adequate storage space. If, on the other hand, you are planning to organize the relocation on your own, here are a few moving day tips that will help you do it easily:

  • Prepare the relocation schedule in advance. If you organize the whole process well, you’ll have much less room for common moving mistakes like forgetting to change the address. This is an ongoing process that will require some adjustments as you go.
  • Do your inventory list. Decide on what you are going to take with you and what are the unwanted items for donating or leaving behind because this process will lower your moving expenses. Our guide on how to make a photo-inventory for moving insurance will help you get an idea of how much stuff you have. The volume of the things that you are transporting will affect the price of your move, and it is always good to learn exactly or roughly how much money you are going to need, which brings us to…
  • Relocation budget. Planning your moving budget is essential and if you do it properly, you won’t have to break the bank in case you run out of money. Of course, some unpredicted expenses are bound to happen, but you need to keep them as low as possible.
  • If you are planning to ship your vehicle, organize it at least a few months in advance, and you need to have the advantage of lower prices. You’ll spend less money on an open carrier than for an enclosed one.
  • Let your family be off use. They could assist you in getting some packing supplies, assist you with packaging fragile items, books, bulky furniture, clothes, or electronics, and loading of your things on the transportation truck. They could even lend you some money in case you need a financial boost for the whole process. Not to mention that your mom probably has a few packing tips and tricks on how to pack your fragile or bulky items, don’t hesitate to ask her to lend you a hand.